Of course I would love to wax lyrical about the decision to stay out of the Iraq ( not his. Ed) as Sunnis blow-up a major Shia shrine triggerring a backlash and, no doubt, widespread bloodshed

However, as you will no doubt have guessed, all Canadians are more transfixed by the conflict between the pro and anti Wayne Gretzky camps following our boy's wuppin at the hands of the Russians

To be honest skating has no intrinsic interest for me. I'm more of a follow-the-salt-wagons guy who unless being propped up for the papparazzi relies on double blades to navigate frozen water

However, its good to see other greats tossed out before their time. Pat Quinn is back to his day job of ensuring that the Toronto Maple Leafs fail to make the playoffs; and Wayne can now cozy up with the rest of the family in front of the computer screen to watch Mummy drop another $100,000 at the click of the 'Enter' key

I'm assuming Gretzky has picked up some acting tips from his small-town actress wife so now that he has at last suffered a bit of pain he might be able to play the (slightly) younger me in my upcoming biopic.

I might call round, possibly when he's out with the kids. I see she posed for Playboy and was heavily pregnant when they married. Perhaps she has some other addictions

This should keep you going until you get the invite